Dating……

After the failed attempt on one dating website, I tried a different one.  I had heard a lot of people make fun of it but, I tried anyway.  Christian Mingle (CM).  All I really wanted to do was meet someone for coffee! Within 3 days I had 100+ men looking at my profile. It was wild.  They all lived within 2 hours of me and a few of them actually had sent some form of communication!  This was blowing my mind! I chatted with a few guys and emailed others but, still no coffee! 

About the 4^th week on CM, I had a comment on a photo I had posted from the Summer Trip adventure of the ropes challenge course! Someone named “Firerelated” wanted to know if that was me in the picture!  My first response…Of course!   I responded nicely and got “I did that in the Marines”.  My first thought was…”this guy is full of himself”. We started chatting online and within 45 minutes we were talking on the phone! I soon realized that he was not full of himself but yet, a really nice guy. We have talked/texted  multiple times a day, everyday, since then!

His name is Mike. He is from Pontotoc, MS.  He is a former Baptist Minister. He is a divorcee and his church released him because of his marital status. He is also a firefighter.  This is his main job now.  He works in Blue Springs, MS at Toyota in the Fire Dept there and moonlights at the Pontotoc and Tupelo Fire Departments.  He and I have hit it off quite nicely and quickly!  He is everything on “my list” and more.  He has been to church with us multiple times and is getting to know some people at our church.  He loves our Methodist church!! MayMo and Carter really like him! When he is in town-every 3^rd day or so-we drag him wherever we go!

He and I have both been through some rough times.  We respect and support each others’ situations. He has a fantastic personality and loves to live life to the fullest!  Those of you on Facebook have seen pictures and get ready to see more of him in the future!

For those of you that are wondering how I could even possibly fathom to move on….Mike and I had been going out for a few weeks and I was really liking him!  A part of me was just not sure if I could let go 100% and allow myself to have true feelings for someone else.  And then, out of the blue, there was my answer.  The 1^st Sunday in November is All Saints Day in the Methodist and other churches.  I did not realize it was this particular day.  As I sat in my regular spot and looked at the bulletin, I saw what day it was.  The names of church members that have passed in the past year are read aloud and a candle is lit in their memory.  I remember last year, and it was a tough day.  As the service started, the worship leader started singing the song that was playing in the room the moment that Jeff died.  (The worship leader is the singer and songwriter for the song) I held my composure and just sat quietly.  As I sat there, I felt a peace and heard these words, “It is ok to completely release Jeff and to move on.  Go with this man, he is a good man.” I know the Holy Spirit was speaking to me! I have never had that happen!  At that moment, I felt a total and complete peace and freedom and nudging to fully move forward with my relationship with Mike.  Jeff will always be a part of my heart, my personality and of who God molded me to be.  I will never forget him but, it is time to move forward.

I am not sure if I ever shared this...

The week before Jeff died, I had him talk to the kids about an agreement he and I had had for 15 years. When  Mary Morgan was a baby we looked at each other and realize we could not do this by ourselves...That is, raise a child on our own. At that moment, we agreed that if anything ever happened to either one of us that the other one would be able to move on with their life. The week before he died, we sat the kids down and Jeff explained to them our agreement. I don't think that any of us understood at the time how important this conversation would be!!  Jeff said to them "Mom is young and full of life, after a considerable amount of time it is okay for her to start dating other people. God did not design us to be alone.  And then at some point, if it was in God's will, God could bring someone into our family, not to replace me (Jeff) but, to be a companion to Mom and to come alongside Mom and to support her in raising the two of you." Jeff gave his approval for me to move on with my life.


Seeing that this is Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for a wonderful family and a relationship that was solid for 17 years.  I am thankful for grace that has allowed me to continue to move forward. For by Grace we are saved through Faith.  Have a wonderful and blessed day!
More tomorrow!
In Him!
Dawn

Catching up!

I haven't blogged in a LONG time but, I hope to catch you up and continue on.  It is a very busy life having 2 teenagers with full schedules and being the only driver.  I am so thankful I am organized or we would never get anywhere.  We have been taking one day at a time.

We had a full summer.  MayMo took a 2 week trip to Zambia, Africa with 23 youth and staff from our church. It was a life changing experience for her...and for Carter and I-we missed her a LOT!  Carter spent an entire week living on campus at The University of Memphis at a music camp. He had a blast, excelled in his cello performance and earned 2 awards! All 3 of us when on our church's Summer Trip to MO. I completed a high ropes challenge course with our pastor's wife. It was the most physically challenging thing I have ever done. I was glad to have done it though! YOLO!!

Also this summer, I started a new personal chapter in my life...DATING!  WOW, now this has been an adventure.  It seemed that no one I knew, knew any single guys so, I tried one dating website and it was horrible. Matching me with guys form MI, NJ, MT and Southern FL.  The first question was always..."Would you be willing to relocate"...NOT!!!! I dropped that website fast!
I was invited to a dinner party with a friend and met a guy that had recently lost his wife to cancer.  We went on several dates and I realized that going to a restaurant with cloth napkins and a real waiter was a lot of fun.  It was a good experience but, he moved to Nashville. I realized that it was okay to have fun, laugh and enjoy myself. To be honest, it was very weird after being committed for 19 years to one person, to think that I was trying to create a new relationship with a man!!

That brings us to August.  MayMo has started her Sophomore year in HS and Carter 8th in MS.  They both enjoy school and are doing well.  I started my 6th year at my school.  I Love teaching Art!  It is so satisfying to see the light bulb go off in my students. 
We continue to have out pouring love and support from many, many of you.  This is what gets us through this journey. 
More tomorrow!
In Him!
Dawn

LIVE

I've been contemplating a post for a while and here it is...
A friend emailed to check up on us the other day and this was my reply: "This is very difficult. Unpacking the ornament boxes was hard...I had not anticipated the depth of emotions that would come with opening the boxes!! Jeff and I had always exchanged ornaments so there were 18 years of memories stored in there. I had to keep putting the Vikings ones to the side, take a break, cry, come back, put them to the side, cry some more and finally I asked the kids if they wanted to hang them on the tree. They did, and we hung them together.  The stockings were about the same but, I was ready for the emotion. I only hung our 3 though. I just can't look at an empty stocking on Christmas morning!
Each day is an new adventure. I cannot anticipate what will happen but, I always remember that God is in control and we are in the middle of his hands."
Each and every day is a challenge. The kiddos and I are surrounded by loving friends, that love The Lord and in return love us! These friends and their love are what gets me through each day! Our Senior pastor has written several books. Right now I am getting through "The Cure for The Chronic Life". It is a 40 day study. I have found something very profound that is going to be my new 'mantra'..if you will. "We are to LIVE. LIVE boldly, surely, certainly, faithfully. We LIVE as those who have been raised from the dead. We LIVE to make a difference, to respond to the needs of the world, and to become all that God needs us to be." I find hope and truth in this!
As you go through the next few days and week. Take time from the bustle of the season to really LIVE and enjoy each other! My goal is to make it through with God's grace leading me!
Merry Christmas!
In Him!!
Dawn

Six months ago today, Jeff became cancer free. I would have never dreamed that I would be where I am right now, at that time.  I am at total Peace and the kids and I are settling into our “new normal”.  I have learned over the past few months, that in times of panic, sadness or loneliness that God is in total control.  It seems at those times, I will receive a text or email or bump into someone just at the perfect time.  HE has strategically placed people in our lives. How can I NOT be at peace? I have never asked “Why?”…my question is with excitement… ”God, What do you have in store  for me next?”  I am learning, once again, to be patient. I heard on the radio this morning a blip from Mandisa about her song “Stronger”…God tells us not to worry about yesterday or tomorrow, but live in the present. It is by God’s Grace that we are allowed to do this.

Live today accepting God’s Grace.

In Him!

Dawn

Here we go!!

During Jeff's illness, I found comfort in sharing with all of you our story through CaringBridge.  I truly feel it helped me get through a lot of tough days.  With my friends Emily and Liberty's help, I will start "The Dawn of Grace" blog!  I will be sharing "God" moments and funny things that happen to our family as we begin our "New normal".

I Timothy 1:14 "The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus."

In Him!
Dawn